hehe...

J-man · Post by **J-man** » Wed Mar 19, 2003 10:56 pm

This is a joke don't take it offensivley!

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.

He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place of great balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to a large landmass in the top corner and asked, "What's that one?" "Ah," said God. "That's Canada, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams and an exquisite coastline. The people from Canada are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard working and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. I'm also going to give them super-human, undefeatable ice hockey players who will be admired and feared by all who come across them."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed; "What about balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!"

God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the loud-mouth bastards I'm putting next to them...."

Landsurveyor · Post by **Landsurveyor** » Thu Mar 20, 2003 1:15 am

The best thing about Canadians is that they make me look like a big spender when I tip the waitress 10%.

Post by **jim d,** » Thu Mar 20, 2003 1:28 am

j-man,

Good one.. my hope is that the reputation of the "ugly American" abroad is diminishing. From the age poll thread I seem to remember that you are one of our more youthful members. Given that, you might not be aware of the source of the "ugly American" image. Up until the last couple of decades, only the wealthy travelled internationally in significant numbers (except the military, but the circumstances there are different). A generalization is that these wealthy travellers were used to having people wait on them at home, and expected the same service abroad. Therefore, the general perception was that Americans were a demanding lot that expected people to immediately respond to their every desire. What the international community saw was a biased sample of America; the spoiled rich. Hopefully, now that we regular folks are travelling internationally in greater numbers, the perception wil change.

Jim

Razor_54 · Post by **Razor_54** » Thu Mar 20, 2003 2:00 am

LMAO..

Bonzo · Post by **Bonzo** » Thu Mar 20, 2003 2:39 am

Mr. Joint-Man,

I think the Danes in Greenland may take that rather offensivley. Be careful, or they might stick you with a harpoon.

Best Regard's,

Bonz

Vagrant · Post by **Vagrant** » Thu Mar 20, 2003 5:59 am

what's the line about Canada? So far from God and so close to the U.S.

Vagrant · Post by **Vagrant** » Thu Mar 20, 2003 6:00 am

Ever try to rhyme anything with Canada?
That will drive you nuts!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mrbigg · Post by **mrbigg** » Thu Mar 20, 2003 8:10 am

good one j-man!

know of any other countries with hockey on their $5 bill?

i won't mention the UN peacekeepers on the $10

stepdaddy · Post by **stepdaddy** » Thu Mar 20, 2003 5:23 pm

hehe
that was a good one
1-iraq
2-france
3-canada

sorry just thinking out loud

mrbigg · Post by **mrbigg** » Thu Mar 20, 2003 5:26 pm

huh?

stepdaddy · Post by **stepdaddy** » Thu Mar 20, 2003 5:53 pm

Just thinking of places other than NJ where we can start sending our solid waste.

mrbigg · Post by **mrbigg** » Thu Mar 20, 2003 7:30 pm

that's ok stepdaddy - apparently american sh*t doesn't stink!

give me a while to look up cretien's address for delivery!

J-man · Post by **J-man** » Fri Mar 21, 2003 12:46 am

Jim, your right most normal Americans are just like most normal people, but if there is one prick in the group who ever sees that group thinks there all pricks. It's just there is a bias and Canadains and Amerians can exploit it on eachother. I think it's gradually going away espically since 9/11.

Stepdaddy, we have super-powered Ice hockey players and we finally beat you guys in the Olympics (Men and womens) let us have it. But one thing I can't stand is the fact we import nuclear waste.

PS sorry for the spelling errors

sammy da blade · Post by **sammy da blade** » Fri Mar 21, 2003 12:49 am

do i detect a hint of jelousy? things are pretty bad here at the moment, times haven't been this bad since the early 80's. we can still travel anywhere without having to have "papers" if you can affordto travel, and in most states we can still have semi and automatic weapons leagly. where i'm from for $25.00 you can get a permit to carry a handgun. only places where it's dodge city are where you can't get permits! what a country.

stepdaddy · Post by **stepdaddy** » Fri Mar 21, 2003 3:51 am

And where do all the great Hockey players go first chance they get???
Even the Great one left.