Clouds Of Despair...

Post by **Wally J. Corpse** » Sun Jul 04, 2004 4:01 am

Greetings, Fellow Odd-Fellows-

The Nexus of the Crisis, and the Origin of Storms, Despair, has gathered cloudage around Mount Zoomie. There shall be no threepeat of the traditional Doofus Emeritus-Wally J. Corpse Fourth of July Debacle this year. Mrs. Corpse has noticed me and my previous double absences, and re-energized the 'Teach Your Pet It's Yard Limits electrical scrotal device, and demands my presence to help entertain a cadre of useless skin bags she has invited to come over and spin the device's rheostat for chuckles. Now there's a day to wake up for, 'eh? Not only do I get to do the involuntary groinal shock dancing for the benefit of miscreants, but all this will be accompanied by the musical lilting Mrs. laughter, most aptly described AS the sound of a cat in a blender. If'n my- 'I'm Invisible, Nobody Can See Me' neck sign hadn't been confiscated by the pus police, I coulda been cranking out 7.62x39 rounds with my ol' pal, Bonzo. I had my trusty same T-shirt, pants, and pose already packed, too...

Ah well, the least I can do is try to survive the 'holiday', and represent all of us forum goofballs by horrendously embarassing the family.

Just AS a footnote, all ye' out there, hoist a toast to all those who fought, died, and or still malinger in the fight for Independence and Freedom, for without their efforts we would not have what do we have now.

AS ever,

Your ol' pal,

Wally J. Corpse

P.S. Wally says- the human being only excells in two endeavors- one- making more human beings, and two, making less human beings.

Bonzo · Post by **Bonzo** » Sun Jul 04, 2004 6:44 pm

Mr. Corpse,

Life (well in my case anyway) goes on. I will now commit myself, my Harley, and the Stars & Stripes, to the downtowne catastrophe of loose women, beer, braided armpit hair, and whatever mischeif I can find. I'll try to get a few pics for ya, and the rest of the malingerer's after todays festivities.

Oh, yes, the boys and I will be expending massive amounts of 7.62x39 today.

Sorry you couldn't make it this year. FUCKING JERK!

Best regards,

Bonz

Post by **Wally J. Corpse** » Sun Jul 04, 2004 7:04 pm

Greetings, Mr. Doofus Emeritus-

Waddaya' think the "J." stands for?

AS ever,

Your ol' pal,

Wally J. Corpse

Pushbutton · Post by **Pushbutton** » Sun Jul 04, 2004 8:46 pm

Wallace If I read your answer first It would bring a tear to my eye and I would do everything in my power to get you to Mt Zoomie.But the truth be known I read Mr Bonzs explanation first and he portrayed you as a stumbling, mumbling drunkard who with rolling pin in hand the Mrs isn't going to let you out of her sight. Now the old Wallace I once knew could escape the shackles of home life in the blink of an eye and do it in such a way that the Mrs would never know you were gone. But alas dear friend some of us succomb to age and feebleness and it's just something you have to come to grips with. Maybe you can cage a couple of nips off a neighbor! But still it will be fun sitting sober watching the fireworks on TV. Of course not as exciting as spending it with the extended Bonz family but at you stage of feebleness believe me your better off in front of the TV. Might there be a stray bottle of Carbona under your sink?
PB

Post by **Wally J. Corpse** » Mon Jul 05, 2004 5:35 am

Greetings, Mr. Pushbutton-

Hey you! Feeb is my special PB word; get your own apt description catch phrase.

AS luck would have it, I had front row fireworks seatage for our lil' town's display, and the lovely hostess poured me a whopper of a shot of Teqilua out of a long skinny blue bottle that I am still a-buzzing from even now. All in all not too bad a day, launched one of the neighbor's crab apples into my ankle whilst mowing the lawn, young Mr. Corpse sent me under the deck in croquet, and I crunched down a blackened burger the wife made special for me.

Still, I wished I'd a been swilling Coors and blasting away on my AK in the pristine peacefull foothills of Mount Zoomie with my ol' pal.

Sigh...

AS ever,

Your ol' pal,

Wally J. Corpse

sammy da blade · Post by **sammy da blade** » Mon Jul 05, 2004 12:13 pm

maybe next year wally. one 4th with the family will surely make your next visit to mt. zoomie "mo better" your pretty fly for a dead guy!

Pushbutton · Post by **Pushbutton** » Mon Jul 05, 2004 2:02 pm

Sammy
I thought at one time FLY meant a good looking babe in afrotalk. You think Wally is good looking? I think it's time for your yearly visit to the eye doctors

PB

sammy da blade · Post by **sammy da blade** » Tue Jul 06, 2004 3:44 am

PB, the Offspring had a song pretty fly for a white guy. you got to admit that wally is witty! his adventures should be turned into childrens movies. i think it's time for another pill.