Greetings, Legion of Fan-
There I was, one idyllic spring day, circa mid 70's, sitting on a park bench, jammin' acoustic guitar with my best ol' pal, when we noticed a cat-dog incident unfolding before us. First, some background. 'Our' cat, Spike, was a shorthair un-neutralized tomcat, large, with stark white fur, excepting a black pubic patch shaped forehead triangle. He had one blue, and one green eye, so we accepted him AS one of us. Now he had an ol' pal he'd buddy up with, another large tomcat, Bengal tiger striped and colored, who had six toes on one paw, and seven on the other, once again, one of us social oddities. We called him 'Thumbs'. It's kind of unusual that two toms will tolerate each other, let alone buddy up, but they did, patrolling their turf shoulder to shoulder. Anyways, they used to enjoy sunning themselves on my ancient pick up truck hood, and listen to us attempt to annoy them with acoustic harmonics. All of a sudden, the downstairs neighbor's (blowgun dart head man) squawky little pissant semi-poodle comes a-tearing out of the house, bent on cat attack. It stands up, lunging and barking at Thumbs, who drearily reaches down and hooks one of his thumb claws into the dog's flappy lip flesh, much to it's distress, and just holds on to him. Spike gets up, comes over, and with a non-extended claw paw gives the dog a Wappity-wappity-wap-wap on the forehead, like a one handed bongo drum solo. Man, we roared at that one. Thumbs, evidently satisfied his work was done, let him loose to fall and pee on himself in flight. Yahoo! That was a riot.
AS ever,
Your ol' pal,
Wally J. Corpse
P.S. Spike could tell when you were trippin', he'd sit in front of ya' waving at invisible molecules, and switching colored eyes from side to side whilst making his fur ripple and undulate. Yep, he was one of us.
Cat Tales...
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Wally J. Corpse
- Level Zero: True Jerk
- Posts: 1865
- Joined: Thu May 23, 2002 7:59 pm
- Location: Fornicalia
Mr. Wally,
Since you're obviously an animal lover, I'll assume that dog tales are OK here too.
At about the same time in history that you were enjoying the coordinated teamwork of Spike & Thumbs, we had a 4-legged horndog named Ten-Toes living with us. On one particular occasion while we were enjoying the benefits of a fungally altered state, Ten-Toes saunters into the yard and begins to manipulate a half deflated innertube with his front paws and forelegs. After a minute or two, he has his newfound blowup-bitch in the doggy position and is humpin' away. We all do a Yogananda double-take, look at each other to make sure we're all seeing the same thing, and then fall out laughing 'til our faces feel like Dr. Sardonicus had been visiting.
After jimpin' his way to a happy ending, Ten-toes turns....gives us all a wink.... and strolls out of the yard with a big grin on his muzzle.
The next day, we were all agreed on 3 things:
1) Ten-toes had fucked an inner tube (the irrefutable essence of evidence still evident on the rubber buddy)
2) He had indeed winked at us.
3) Dogs (given good reason and opportunity) will smile with shit eatin' style.
floater
PS - To whom were the molecules invisible?
Since you're obviously an animal lover, I'll assume that dog tales are OK here too.
At about the same time in history that you were enjoying the coordinated teamwork of Spike & Thumbs, we had a 4-legged horndog named Ten-Toes living with us. On one particular occasion while we were enjoying the benefits of a fungally altered state, Ten-Toes saunters into the yard and begins to manipulate a half deflated innertube with his front paws and forelegs. After a minute or two, he has his newfound blowup-bitch in the doggy position and is humpin' away. We all do a Yogananda double-take, look at each other to make sure we're all seeing the same thing, and then fall out laughing 'til our faces feel like Dr. Sardonicus had been visiting.
After jimpin' his way to a happy ending, Ten-toes turns....gives us all a wink.... and strolls out of the yard with a big grin on his muzzle.
The next day, we were all agreed on 3 things:
1) Ten-toes had fucked an inner tube (the irrefutable essence of evidence still evident on the rubber buddy)
2) He had indeed winked at us.
3) Dogs (given good reason and opportunity) will smile with shit eatin' style.
floater
PS - To whom were the molecules invisible?
It's all here before your eyes / Safety is a big disguise ....
That hides among the other lies / They divide and conquer.
That hides among the other lies / They divide and conquer.
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BennytheBlade
- Posts: 2023
- Joined: Wed Dec 18, 2002 2:22 am
- Location: The United States of Texas
- Contact:
LOL
How many shrooms had the dog eaten
One of my best dog stories that doesnt involve altered states.
Me and my bro lived together whilst attending* university. My bro had his dog- A mean as hell black Chow, w/ the required black eyes and black tongue who would endevor to eat the postal carrier at any chance he could. On one occaision, he busted out the screen door to masticate our lowly govt employee, who rightly took off around my truck and made for the side door of our house in the hopes of escaping the furry black terror. Well, he made it too the side door, opened it up, and ran smack dab into my dog (may he rest in peace) who was twice the size of the Chow (pics available in the Post your pet thread). The poor guys eyes bugged out of his head as he was trapped between the frying pan and the fire.
He did escape unharmed as my dog was well trained and obediant, but it was a close call.
I swear we didnt get any mail for a week after that.
*attending in this instance means paid for the classes but not actually going to them.
How many shrooms had the dog eaten
One of my best dog stories that doesnt involve altered states.
Me and my bro lived together whilst attending* university. My bro had his dog- A mean as hell black Chow, w/ the required black eyes and black tongue who would endevor to eat the postal carrier at any chance he could. On one occaision, he busted out the screen door to masticate our lowly govt employee, who rightly took off around my truck and made for the side door of our house in the hopes of escaping the furry black terror. Well, he made it too the side door, opened it up, and ran smack dab into my dog (may he rest in peace) who was twice the size of the Chow (pics available in the Post your pet thread). The poor guys eyes bugged out of his head as he was trapped between the frying pan and the fire.
He did escape unharmed as my dog was well trained and obediant, but it was a close call.
I swear we didnt get any mail for a week after that.
*attending in this instance means paid for the classes but not actually going to them.
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
