Roofing Tales Of Madness
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- Wally J. Corpse
- Level Zero: True Jerk
- Posts: 1865
- Joined: Thu May 23, 2002 7:59 pm
- Location: Fornicalia
Roofing Tales Of Madness
Greetings, Legion Of Fan-
Herein, to follow, is an episode from the hysterical roofing archives, to share with the World's oldest Roofer, and the inmates sited here-
To wit: There I was, circa 1980. Eye was the steep slope roofing crew foreman for a somewhat prestigious SF roofing company whose truck sign/motto was "Old World Craftsmanship"
One fine day, the company owner presented me with a Polaroid camera, to photo document roofing issues for client insurance claims. What transpired thereafter became legendary in chuckles.
I interrupt ramble for backstory- my crew used to frequent a delightful old timer's bar, The Pall Mall, on Haight Street, nicely darkened with a separate room to house a full sized pool table. One of the waitresses, a squatty lil' fireplug of a gal with massive bazooms with a virulently sarcastic attitude highlighted with it's voice resembling a cat in a blender screech, some called her Boom-Boom, we called her 'The Thing', was totally lusted after by mine second man, Hack, who publically stated that he would like to mount her from behind on the bar wearing a pig's head. Somewhat shortly thereafter, on a shopping expedition with mine her and another crew member to Pier 39, we went into a magic/joke shop, and lo and behold! There was a pig's head rubber mask that covered one's entire head. Imagine Hack's surprise when later that eve, I slapped the pig's head mask onto the bar and ordered him to comply. His response was akin to the noise made whilst swallowing one's tongue in shock. That fufilment of his dream never came to pass...
However, the pig's head became a staple of my crew's antics, to wit: the rallying cry/mantra became- "Put the pig's head on!" Whenever there was a scenic or colorful setting, crew members, even I, were required to don the pig's head for what became the "Pigfolio". The wearing of the pig's head was inflicted upon all those whom we could encourage or intimidate therein, including suppliers, family members, vacationing and foreign guests, or anyone who got to close to the shingle truck. Said Pigfolio amounts to 30 plus photos. I would like to be able to share said images with ye, but AS I am currently too stooped to figure out how to insert pictures in mine posting, my ol' pal, Mr. Doofus Emeritus has somewhat indicated he will do so...
AS Ever,
Your ol' pal,
Wally J. Corpse
Herein, to follow, is an episode from the hysterical roofing archives, to share with the World's oldest Roofer, and the inmates sited here-
To wit: There I was, circa 1980. Eye was the steep slope roofing crew foreman for a somewhat prestigious SF roofing company whose truck sign/motto was "Old World Craftsmanship"
One fine day, the company owner presented me with a Polaroid camera, to photo document roofing issues for client insurance claims. What transpired thereafter became legendary in chuckles.
I interrupt ramble for backstory- my crew used to frequent a delightful old timer's bar, The Pall Mall, on Haight Street, nicely darkened with a separate room to house a full sized pool table. One of the waitresses, a squatty lil' fireplug of a gal with massive bazooms with a virulently sarcastic attitude highlighted with it's voice resembling a cat in a blender screech, some called her Boom-Boom, we called her 'The Thing', was totally lusted after by mine second man, Hack, who publically stated that he would like to mount her from behind on the bar wearing a pig's head. Somewhat shortly thereafter, on a shopping expedition with mine her and another crew member to Pier 39, we went into a magic/joke shop, and lo and behold! There was a pig's head rubber mask that covered one's entire head. Imagine Hack's surprise when later that eve, I slapped the pig's head mask onto the bar and ordered him to comply. His response was akin to the noise made whilst swallowing one's tongue in shock. That fufilment of his dream never came to pass...
However, the pig's head became a staple of my crew's antics, to wit: the rallying cry/mantra became- "Put the pig's head on!" Whenever there was a scenic or colorful setting, crew members, even I, were required to don the pig's head for what became the "Pigfolio". The wearing of the pig's head was inflicted upon all those whom we could encourage or intimidate therein, including suppliers, family members, vacationing and foreign guests, or anyone who got to close to the shingle truck. Said Pigfolio amounts to 30 plus photos. I would like to be able to share said images with ye, but AS I am currently too stooped to figure out how to insert pictures in mine posting, my ol' pal, Mr. Doofus Emeritus has somewhat indicated he will do so...
AS Ever,
Your ol' pal,
Wally J. Corpse
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- Posts: 4038
- Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 7:18 pm
- Location: Indiana
Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness
Sir Wallace,
AS always, great to read your prose.
Jim
AS always, great to read your prose.
Jim
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- Posts: 28
- Joined: Tue Apr 23, 2019 9:17 pm
- Location: The other Woodstock
Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness
Great to hear from you Wally!!!
Worlds Oldest Roofer
Worlds Oldest Roofer
- Wally J. Corpse
- Level Zero: True Jerk
- Posts: 1865
- Joined: Thu May 23, 2002 7:59 pm
- Location: Fornicalia
Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness
Greetings, Legion Of Fan-
Thanks to Mr. Doofus Emeritus for inserting Pigfolio pictures! He has threatened to show me how to do it myself, whereupon a plethora of disturbing photos may ensue...
AS ever,
Your ol' pal,
Wally J. Corpse
Thanks to Mr. Doofus Emeritus for inserting Pigfolio pictures! He has threatened to show me how to do it myself, whereupon a plethora of disturbing photos may ensue...
AS ever,
Your ol' pal,
Wally J. Corpse
Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness
Wally, way cool funny story and photos!
Your friend on the web's most friendly community on knives and blades,
John
Massachusetts Where Everything is Illegal or Taxed
John
Massachusetts Where Everything is Illegal or Taxed
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- Posts: 4038
- Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 7:18 pm
- Location: Indiana
- Bonzo
- Doofus Emeritus
- Posts: 3419
- Joined: Thu May 23, 2002 8:01 pm
- Location: Klamath Falls, Oregon Left Coast I can still see Mt. Zoomie from my house!
Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness
Mr. Corpse,
You are welcome. Sometimes the easiest tasks on a puter can be the most annoying. The on/off button still has me puzzled, but one day I will conquer the round flat spot. To see a pig banging on shingles in San Francisco would not surprise me, as if anything there would surprise me anyway...
Mr. Worlds Oldest Roofer,
Welcome to the show that never ends. I am a 2nd generation roofer (the word is even on my birth certificate), but due to health reasons, I have moved to other areas in the construction industry and don't climb the ladder like I used to in the past. At 59, the days of hot tar burns, bloody shingling fingers, and cedar slivers are over. I do however, look forward to good roofing tales of yore, and some constructive banter from time to time.
Best regards,
Bonz
You are welcome. Sometimes the easiest tasks on a puter can be the most annoying. The on/off button still has me puzzled, but one day I will conquer the round flat spot. To see a pig banging on shingles in San Francisco would not surprise me, as if anything there would surprise me anyway...
Mr. Worlds Oldest Roofer,
Welcome to the show that never ends. I am a 2nd generation roofer (the word is even on my birth certificate), but due to health reasons, I have moved to other areas in the construction industry and don't climb the ladder like I used to in the past. At 59, the days of hot tar burns, bloody shingling fingers, and cedar slivers are over. I do however, look forward to good roofing tales of yore, and some constructive banter from time to time.
Best regards,
Bonz
"A little rebellion now & then is a good thing"
Thomas Jefferson
Re: Roofing Tales Of Madness
I mean who wouldn't approve of such antics.
SD
SD
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- Posts: 4038
- Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 7:18 pm
- Location: Indiana