1. AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."
3. WHAT WAS PLAN B? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
5. DID I SAY THAT? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"
6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING? A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart." "Is this her first child?", the doctor asked. "No!", the man shouted, "This is her husband!"
7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun.
Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo...!!!)
8. THE GRAND FINALE! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!
Top 8 Idiots of the Year
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- ILikeStilettos
- Posts: 1576
- Joined: Tue Jan 28, 2014 3:36 pm
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Top 8 Idiots of the Year
Dave Sause
oldandfat@cox.net
(405) 694-3690
"And you're telling me this because, somehow, I look like I give a shit?"
"Let a smile be your umbrella and you're gonna get your dumb ass wet."
oldandfat@cox.net
(405) 694-3690
"And you're telling me this because, somehow, I look like I give a shit?"
"Let a smile be your umbrella and you're gonna get your dumb ass wet."
Re: Top 8 Idiots of the Year
I love it!!!! Thank you for the laughs today!
Looking for those un-repairable, lost cause stilettos.
Re: Top 8 Idiots of the Year
Hello Dave,
I’ve seen a few of these before and they are as funny now as they were then; all eight maybe laugh.
Thanks for the Top 8 Idiots of the year,
John
PS I was afraid I might have made the list!!!
I’ve seen a few of these before and they are as funny now as they were then; all eight maybe laugh.
Thanks for the Top 8 Idiots of the year,
John
PS I was afraid I might have made the list!!!
Your friend on the web's most friendly community on knives and blades,
John
Massachusetts Where Everything is Illegal or Taxed
John
Massachusetts Where Everything is Illegal or Taxed
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- Posts: 763
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- Location: Portland, OR
Re: Top 8 Idiots of the Year
Thanks Dave ... that was good.
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- Posts: 4038
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Re: Top 8 Idiots of the Year
Always good to hear from 'ya Dave! Great laughs!
"By accepting you as you are, I do not necessarily abandon all hope of your improving"- My Wife (1963-Present)
Re: Top 8 Idiots of the Year
Thanks, Dave, I needed that...
Re: Top 8 Idiots of the Year
That's good stuff, thanks for sharing. number 2 is hilarious