23 Men's rules women should know

Do you want to talk about your beautiful country, family, or dog? Would you like to say where you went on holiday or how you arranged the garden? Are you willing to tell us you girlfriend left you for a(nother) loser? Do you have ANY non knife-related topic you want to discuss? This is the place!

Moderators: Bonzo, Wally J. Corpse, The Motley Crew

Forum rules
There are a few things you should know before posting in these forums. If you are a new user, please click here and read carefully. Thanks a lot!
Post Reply
User avatar
ILikeStilettos
Posts: 1576
Joined: Tue Jan 28, 2014 3:36 pm
Location: Norman, Oklahoma, USA
Contact:

23 Men's rules women should know

Post by ILikeStilettos »

1. Men are not mind readers.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat; you're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. You don't hear us complaining when you leave it down.

3. Crying is blackmail.

4. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work | Strong hints do not work | Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

5. “Yes” and “No” are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

6. Come to us with problem only if you wont help solving them. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

7. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

8. If you think you're too fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

9. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

10. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know the best way to do it, then just do it yourself.

11. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to during commercials. If you have to comment on the person on tv’s hairstyle, dress or changes in body mass, do so in your head and pretend we ignored you saying it. Saying it out loud just pisses us off and we still ignore it.

12. Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions and neither do we.

13. Most men see in only 16 colors. Peach, for example is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is a vegetable. We have no idea what mauve is. There are a few men who see the same colors you do, we call them “gay”.

14. If ask what is wrong and you say, “Nothing”, we act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it’s just not worth the hassle. Eventually you well tell us. See also rule 7.

15. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, then expect an answer you don't want to hear.

16. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is OK … really. Even a bikini with orange galoshes and a war bonnet.

17. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as beer, football, guns, knives or motor sports.

18. You have enough clothes.

19. You have too many shoes.

20. For us there are only two types of shirts and pants: comfortable and uncomfortable. Cleanliness and wrinkled are non-issues. Just tell us what you want us in, but you only get one pick. Once it’s on, we aren’t getting undressed unless it’s for immediate sex.

21. While we’re on that subject, every minute of every day is our “birthday”. Just consider it as getting our complete attention.

22. I am in shape, round is a shape.

23. Thank you for reading this and yes I know I’m sleeping on the couch tonight. Did you know men don't really mind this? It's like camping.
Dave Sause
oldandfat@cox.net
(405) 694-3690

"And you're telling me this because, somehow, I look like I give a shit?"

"Let a smile be your umbrella and you're gonna get your dumb ass wet."
User avatar
tequiza
Posts: 5970
Joined: Thu Nov 20, 2003 12:59 pm
Location: back at the grill

Re: 23 Men's rules women should know

Post by tequiza »

I really love number 11, so right on the money on that one!!! :-))))))
Polish a knife, cook a pig, drink several beers
User avatar
rock-n-roll$$$$$$
Posts: 971
Joined: Tue Nov 29, 2016 9:04 pm

Re: 23 Men's rules women should know

Post by rock-n-roll$$$$$$ »

very good Dave.
User avatar
john
Posts: 4524
Joined: Tue Dec 01, 2009 11:40 am
Location: New England, MA USA

Re: 23 Men's rules women should know

Post by john »

Hi Dave,
Thank you very much!!!!
That’s priceless!!!
It came a a time when I really need a laugh.
They’re all true.
I wondered if women have: “Woman’s Rules men should know.” They’re probably the same rules but 100% the opposite.
Thanks again,
John
Your friend on the web's most friendly community on knives and blades,
John

Massachusetts Where Everything is Illegal or Taxed
User avatar
ILikeStilettos
Posts: 1576
Joined: Tue Jan 28, 2014 3:36 pm
Location: Norman, Oklahoma, USA
Contact:

Re: 23 Men's rules women should know

Post by ILikeStilettos »

john wrote:Hi Dave,
Thank you very much!!!!
That’s priceless!!!
It came a a time when I really need a laugh.
They’re all true.
I wondered if women have: “Woman’s Rules men should know.” They’re probably the same rules but 100% the opposite.
Thanks again,
John
Duke's grandaughter on Facebook told me that it was super offensive and she was blocking my notifications. I guess the truth hurts. The women's list is much longer, and frequently contradictory. :roll:
Dave Sause
oldandfat@cox.net
(405) 694-3690

"And you're telling me this because, somehow, I look like I give a shit?"

"Let a smile be your umbrella and you're gonna get your dumb ass wet."
Post Reply