UPDATE: Probably the last update in this awful tale. Personally, I'm happy as a clam over the new opportunities that lie ahead. My new Florida honey arrives this coming weekend to help me pack and sort thru a lifetime of collected bullshit that I can easily live without. NO......I'm NOT talking about my "collectibles," firearms or any of the other shit that sharon hated with such passion. I just don't know how I'm going to manage without those cherished wedding albums from my three former marriages. Trying to find one of those incredible machines that will turn them into Duraflame Logs.
Life continues to treat me well. Unfortunately, I am still battling insomnia and it doesn't help with the two cats playing their nightly cat games at 3:30am. They go something like this: "Look! there's an open box of pots and pans in the kitchen (says cat #1)! (Cat #2 says:) Lets spend the next hour jumping in and out of that box, making all the cookware clatter and clang until Dad gets up ans cracks open a can of Fancy Feast. BTW, the stuff isn't bad spread over Ritz Crackers, but I claim no responsibility for your gastric issues if any of you are foolish enough to listen to ANY advice from me!
Life Tip #2: I finally figured out the key to getting women to accept our love of springsteel; Give them a couple of their own. Click therapy in more gender neutral than I ever would have thought. Exception: Your significant other is one of Lorena Bobbit's relatives.
Life tip #3: Maintain a secret safe deposit box to store your personal collections of treasures like your porn collection of nuns dressed in skimpy lingerie (or whatever other perversities float your boat).
Follow those simple rules and you're assured of a lifetime of marital bliss or at least an occasional piece of ass. Excuse me, that's Dr. Phil McGraw calling to book me for an interview. At least SOMEONE values my opinions regarding marital happiness and/or cohabitational pleasures.
Have fun guys. Stay safe and healthy. Will be offline until after the move, but will occasionally monitor this place to assure its continued sense of decorum.