Never argue with a woman

[ILikeStilettos]

A lawyer is driving with his wife and they are having a major argument. The angrier he gets, the harder he presses on the accelerator ... then he notices the flashing red and blue lights behind him.

When the officer approaches the care he says, "I clocked you at over 80 miles per hour, sir. The speed limit here is 55."

The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly, dear; you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "Well dear you should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Woman, shut your mouth and keep it shut. Just sit there and knit while I handle this."

The officer frowns and says, "I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. Next time, that will be an automatic $75 fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."

The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket , the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

(I love this part)

"Only when he's been drinking!"