Be careful what you ask!

[ILikeStilettos]

Teacher: How old is your father?
Kid: He is 6 years.
Teacher: What? How is that possible?
Kid: He became father only when I was born.
(Logic! Kids are always quick to speak their minds.)

***

Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
Maria: Here it is
Teacher: Correct. Now Class, who discovered America?
Class: Maria

***

Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile'?
Glenn: K - R - O - K - O - D - I - A - L
Teacher: No, that is incorrect.
Glenn: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I love this child.)

***

Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H - I - J - K - L - M - N - O
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

***

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, sir, it's the same dog.
(I want to adopt this kid!)

***

Teacher: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Harold: A teacher.

[Viking45]

Excellent.

[sammy the blade]

Those were hilarious!

[john]

Dave, ILS, those are wicked fantastic.
Dave, Viking, those are wicked fantastic.
My wife is a fourth grade teacher she asked I forward those to her so she can share them with her teacher friends on the first day of school. She said, "Those are wicked fantastic."

[ILikeStilettos]

Thanks, John. Viking's lady is also a teacher, so she has a personal interest as well. I appreciate the comments and wish you and your special teacher all the best. I'd offer the same to Viking, but it would just give him a big head. BTW, I thought Viking's contribution was wicked fantastic, especially the one testicle joke.

[john]

Hi Dave, a.k.a. ILS,

I don't know where you find these things but you have come up with some extremely funny stuff recently.

I'm just starting to feel a little better. I have been going to PT for six weeks. The pinched nerve in my neck has been a great source of debilitating pain, discomfort depression since April. I've had very little desire to do anything. The health industry is awful. It takes so long to get anything done. MRI in May, finally figure out what's going on in June, July start PT. Now it's the middle of August and it finally feeling a little bit better. I still have a long way to go. The pain in my shoulder, left arm and neck it's been just plain awful.
I'll give you a call soon.
Your friend,
John

[ILikeStilettos]

I can sympathize without really understanding. Long term pain just wears you down. It's more than an annoyance; it clouds your thinking so that all you can contemplate is escape from it just for a moment so that you can rest. I'm sending you prayers and good smoke.

BTW, I'm finding these on Facebook, there's this crazy guy named George Duross who keeps posting them, and I keep stealing them. There's a couple of others, but he's the primary comedian.