Chuck Norris

[Viking45]

When asked how many push-ups he could do he said: "All of them"

When Chuck left for college he said to his father: You're the man of the house now.

Chuck doesn't turn on the shower, he stares at it until it cries.

He got pulled over once but he let the cop go with a warning.

Chuck was born on May 6th 1945....Nazi Germany surrendered on May 7th

Chuck died but he's ok now.

Death once had a near Chuck experience.

Monsters check under their bed for Chuck.

Chuck doesn't wear a watch- He decides what time it is.

Chuck was to star in an episode of Mission: Impossible but it was canceled because they would have had to change it to Mission: Accomplished.

Trains stop at Chuck Norris crossings.

When Chuck Norris throws a boomerang, it doesn't come back.

Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you answered the wrong phone.

Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.

Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.

When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.

Chuck Norris doesn't have good aim. His bullets just know better than to miss.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

[natcherly]

Chuck Norris knows who let the dogs out.

[sammy the blade]

Chuck is in his 70's. And he still gets laid, Viagra maybe.