The Mt. Zoomie Guru has spoken...

[Bonzo]

Ladies, Fish, and Gentlemen,

After 30 years of living within spitting distance of the rock strewn slopes, I finally found the mountain guru and his message of hope, or the meaning of, whatever.

10171712_10152331214351206_1725899154739961553_n.jpg (56.76 KiB) Viewed 5105 times

I don't know, but it makes more sense than what the rest of the mindless morons around my neck of the woods are professing. Kind of a refreshing viewpoint break from the election year bull, don't you think?

Best regards,

Bonz

[sammy the blade]

Man, when I saw the pic I laughed so hard I almost pissed my pants. Makes sense to me!

[natcherly]

But can he light his own candles and incense? Self reliance is key to this way of living and thinking....

[Straydog 5247]

Ladies, Fish, and Gentlemen,

What ? , No mention of dogs ?....I'm "crushed" Mr. Bonzo


"Dawg"

[Bonzo]

Ladies, Fish, and Gentlemen,

What ? , No mention of dogs ?....I'm "crushed" Mr. Bonzo


"Dawg"

Mr. Straydog,

I guess I could add something concerning the un-neutered leg humpers to my next intro. That line has a lyrical meaning to it. Sorry if your crushed my good man, I'm sure you'll figure it out one day!

Best regards,

Bonz

[jim d,]

Hey Bonz,

Perhaps you could resurrect some of your commentaries about the Mt. Zoomie women. I think folks would find them more than a bit amusing.

Jim

[Bonzo]

Mr. Jim D,

The Unwashed have begun the trek from Santa Cruz as we speak. I saw a whole group of them the other day walking in from the interstate complete with dreadlocks, torn dirty clothes, 1 string guitars, and various breeds of dogs (they eat them when the locals refuse handouts). The 5 month dumpster diving ritual will be in full swing shortly, and the tofu group sex on the mountain will soon begin. Nothing new with that crowd. The LGBT community has made a presence in the last few years, staking claims and running for local elected positions. Mainly the lesbo crowd of bull dyke carpet munchers who insist on being noticed, and hate men with reckless abandon. I'll delve into the archives next chance I get and refresh my memory for you.

Best regards,

Bonz

[sammy the blade]

Can't wait for the next installment.

[gravknife]

Mr Bonzo
Love your mount Zoomie guru.
Do you know whyeth the canine sniffs ass?
Ill explain it for you in rhyme.

The dogs once held a meeting
they came from near and far.
Some came by aeroplane
Some by motorcar.
Once sat in their meeting hall
Their orders they all took
Each was told to take off his arse
and hang it on a hook
Not long had they been seated
When one dawg yelled out FIRE!
there was no time to look.
Each dog grabbed a different arse
From a different hook.
They got their arses quite mixed up.
Do y'know it felt quite sore.
to know they had a different arse
than what they had before.

And that is why you now shall see
A dog will leave his bone
And go amd smell a dirty arse
In hopes to find his own.

Take care bonzo.
Youll have to explain this mount Zoomie to me though,im only an uneducated brit.
Or should I have asked :-SS

All the best
Mr Gravknife

[Viking45]

Bonz I was actually looking for some funny pics to post when I stumbled upon this by accident.
Living in the Midwest I guess I am completely oblivious to this particular chapter of the human spectrum.
There are homeless but these people have their own category and I'm looking at them and still can't tell what that might be.
http://crustypunks.blogspot.com/

[sammy the blade]

Looks like a bunch of human garbage. They need a bath and moved to an island, far far away

[jim d,]

Interesting that you mentioned Santa Cruz Bonz. A year ago last March my wife and I spent 2 weeks visiting my daughter who lives in San Fran. My daughter joined us for a few days trek to Monterey, Carmel, and Big Sur. On the way we stopped in Santa Cruz, walked around a bit and had lunch at a nice place on the water. I believe I saw some of the interesting creatures you described. I remember being a bit taken aback by their appearance and behavior. Here in the greater Mayberry area, we don't have a lot of folks like that.

Jim

[Wally J. Corpse]

Greetings, Mr. Gravknife-

Perhaps eye can best explain the "Mt. Zoomie" phenomena, AS it 'twas eye that coined the label. To wit- 'Mt. Zoomie' is actually Mt. Shasta, northern Fornicalia's most majestic peak, resplendent in it's awe inspiring natural beauty, an immensely tall, pointed mount, typically capped with ice and snow, which oft gives forth spectral displays whence Sol glistens it's slopes. It is known to mesmerize even the casual observer, and has become the driving force for annual migrations of 'Zoomheads", whomst flock to it's slopes, seeking unkownst spiritual enlightenment and low level atmospheric oxygen percentage euphoria.
AS a side issue, Mt. Zoomie has been rumored to be the secretive enclave of the "Lemurians" fabled to be the descendants of the citizens of Atlantis, said to be of otherworldy ancestry. In any event, the trekking of the Zoomies usually results in the local hamlet's saturation with the un-washed, un-awares influx of dorks, twerps, geeks and those still clinging to the 'hippie' creedo. Mr. Doofus Emeritus often amuses himself by throwing 4th of July festivities at the Bonzo Compound, within eyeshot of Mt. Zoomie, and curriculum always includes mandated saturation of blood alcohol level, with entertainment by fledgling rock band, and routine pyres, wherein anything combustible goes into the pit, including offspring. In the tradition of Independence Day Freedom, we sojourn unto the lower slopes of Mt. Zoomie, and shoot it up with copious amounts of surplus commie rounds spastically shot fromst our AK 47s.
Somewhat the next day, the survivors go Downetown to mock and vilify the Zoomies for entertainment purposes only. Mr. Doofus Emeritus has been known to lead the-" Mt. Zoomie Memorial Rectal Kazoo Marching Band Parade". Nice to have a goal in life, ain't it?
Anyways, eye hoped that this serves to inform or confuse you.

AS ever,

Your ol' pal,

Wally J. Corpse

[gravknife]

Thanks Wally for your response.
I have seen the beautiful Mt shasta only in photos,and think you may be referring to outsiders wrecking your beautiful californian haven,but im probably wrong.
I also see your a true patriot and old school in thought ,hope im getting close.
Im still reading it now to be honest with the wife mithering about the garden in one ear and the mysteries of mt zoomie in my mind,it was like a flashback of my mispent youth whilst experimenting with things that broaden the mind.
At least I got to speak to you Mr Wally J Corpse and hope to do so again as it certainly opens the mind
I will reread the post after ive assured the wife her lawn will be cut tommorrow .
Love to visit your beautiful californian haven if it didnt offend thee .
Take care of yourself
All the best from England
Gravknife

[Bonzo]

Mr. Jim D,

So, if you were here in March, that means the birthing season was just about over, and after a brief rest, the unwashed and highly fertile were packing their dirty clothes and 1 string guitars for the trek back to the rock strewn slopes. Some of them simply cannot wait. They hitch rides, load up in broken down buses, or sometimes a rail car. Whatever method they travel, they leave a trail of trash along the way. Similar to that of a common garden slug. Others of course, will take Hwy 101 up the coast for Humboldt County and replenish their Chronic supplies, and dig in the dumpsters for the usual fish guts and left over fries. Reminds me of the time when I spied one from a roof, they guy comes up with a bunch of grapes and holds it high above his head, like a trophy, while all the baby Zoomies squealed with delight!

Mr. Corpse,

Ah! The rectal kazoo! Like you always said, "a fart in the wind is a wasted fart, find a good use for it"! You were right. Instead of the usual crop dusting, now we make all kinds of noise. Next time you visit though, leave your 1 stringer Roy Rogers plastic guitar at home. Your solo on "Send in the Clowns" is always off a few chords...

Best regards,

Bonz