Barshoo Killed in a Bizarre Freak Accident

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barshoo
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Joined: Wed Dec 22, 2004 7:03 am
Location: Citrus Heights, CA
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Barshoo Killed in a Bizarre Freak Accident

Post by barshoo »

I received this email from a friend, who found this "article" concerning Barb's "demise:" (I am sorry about the startling headline, but I got your attention, didn't I ???)

"Hi Barb !! You know, at this point I'm just relieved to hear from you, no matter how long it's been! I couldn't quite bring myself to try reaching you by phone, because hideous possibilities kept flashing before my eyes -- I could just picture you starting down the stairs with a shoebox full of switchblades...... then suddenly, you trip on a wayward picklock -- the shoebox goes flying, and you after it, arse-over-tea-kettle...... and being here in the backwaters of Maine, I would never have seen the gruesome headline:

"Citrus Heights Woman Found With 33 Switchblades Embedded In Body"...... and, of course, the lurid newspaper account:

LOS ANGELES (AP) "Authorities are currently withholding the name of the victim in a bizarre mishap early yesterday, as well as that of her husband, described as "a person of interest" by a police spokesman. Detectives interviewed the man at length after he claimed discovering his wife's exsanguinated body at the bottom of a flight of stairs; and more interviews are expected in coming days. One officer, speaking on conditions of anonymity, described the victim as "looking like a porcupine" due to almost three dozen rare, expensive switchblade knives stuck into the corpse. Adding to suspicions by investigators was the disturbing request by the husband that the victim be interred with the knives left in his wife's body. "She loved those damn things," the husband is reported as saying. "She would have wanted to keep them with her, no matter what." A quick check with local morticians has revealed the startling fact that apparently, there are no legal prohibitions against such a practice. "It would be the decision of the individual funeral home," opined one owner, who requested that his name be withheld. "Of course, a casket with a domed lid would be necessary to accommodate the increased height requirement..... and naturally, we would strongly recommend a closed-casket ceremony...." Reported by George Carlin"

Um..... where was I.....?"

This guy would make a great comedy writer!!! I wet my pants and nearly died LAUGHING when I read it!! I just HAD to share with y'all!! Thanks for reading, and I hope that YOU had a good laugh, too!!

Sincerely,

Barb
I will push your buttons--please pass me your switchblades first.
sammy the blade
Posts: 3053
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Location: Indiana

Re: Barshoo Killed in a Bizarre Freak Accident

Post by sammy the blade »

Glad it was just a joke!
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john
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Re: Barshoo Killed in a Bizarre Freak Accident

Post by john »

sammy the blade wrote: Thu Jun 17, 2021 9:15 pm Glad it was just a joke!
Me Too!

Your title firmly grabbed my attention.
Your friend on the web's most friendly community on knives and blades,
John

Massachusetts Where Everything is Illegal or Taxed
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whippersnapper
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Re: Barshoo Killed in a Bizarre Freak Accident

Post by whippersnapper »

Had me concerned for awhile. Glad you are still kicking Barb.
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jim d,
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Location: Mayberry, N.C. / U.S.A.

Re: Barshoo Killed in a Bizarre Freak Accident

Post by jim d, »

It sure got my attention and I'm glad you are ok. I suppose it is appropriate that comedy is involved given the ending: "Reported by George Carlin"

JIm
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rock-n-roll$$$$$$
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Re: Barshoo Killed in a Bizarre Freak Accident

Post by rock-n-roll$$$$$$ »

what a story, glad that it was not you, I do miss George Carlin, I got to see him live a few times.
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TRYKER
Posts: 3489
Joined: Mon Mar 13, 2006 4:02 pm
Location: where everythings illegal

Re: Barshoo Killed in a Bizarre Freak Accident

Post by TRYKER »

whew, that was sum scary shit rite there. barb, this scenary o can be avoided by sending me that shoe box before this could be a reality.
TRYKER



A man who brags about how smart he is, wouldn't if he was.

"Rose-colored glassses are never made in bifocals. Nobody wants to read the small print in dreams"
NatalieMorrison
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Joined: Fri Jun 18, 2021 1:48 pm

Re: Barshoo Killed in a Bizarre Freak Accident

Post by NatalieMorrison »

Where to send the box?! xD
Last edited by NatalieMorrison on Sat Jun 19, 2021 6:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
sammy the blade
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Re: Barshoo Killed in a Bizarre Freak Accident

Post by sammy the blade »

NatalieMorrison wrote: Fri Jun 18, 2021 2:33 pm Where to send the box? xD
With one post I don't think it will be sent to you, lol.
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barshoo
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Re: Barshoo Killed in a Bizarre Freak Accident

Post by barshoo »

Dear friends,

Thank you for your comments!!! I was the one who credited the late "George Carlin" as the reporter. Had I been paying better attention, I would have put "killed" in quotation marks on the title!! THIS is the FUNNIEST FALSEHOOD that has ever been written about me!! I would have written the name of the real author, but I did not ask his permission when I posted this.
I will push your buttons--please pass me your switchblades first.
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Luke_of_Mass
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Re: Barshoo Killed in a Bizarre Freak Accident

Post by Luke_of_Mass »

Well shit. I was looking forward to a run of commemorative knives...
Knee-deep in the hoopla...
sprink
Posts: 321
Joined: Fri Aug 06, 2010 12:48 am

Re: Barshoo Killed in a Bizarre Freak Accident

Post by sprink »

That's some funny stuff, Headline definitely got my attention, but as I read on I knew that you would never put your knives in a shoebox 🤔
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barshoo
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Re: Barshoo Killed in a Bizarre Freak Accident

Post by barshoo »

sprink wrote: Fri Jun 25, 2021 11:43 pm That's some funny stuff, Headline definitely got my attention, but as I read on I knew that you would never put your knives in a shoebox 🤔
LOL!!! I currently have 25 knives in...a SHOEBOX!!!!
I will push your buttons--please pass me your switchblades first.
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