FAQ for taking care of the knife

Doofus Emeritus · Post by **Doofus Emeritus** » Wed Sep 11, 2002 2:42 pm

Mr. Corpse,

Now that you have achieved your 'True Jerk' status, I thought I'd remind you that we no longer have experience levels on this here new forum format. I was going to ask for my old 'What's a level' wailing, but ditched that idea. 'King and Tyrant' is befitting. I know that being blind in one eye and not being able to see out the other is difficult, but I thought your talking computer would have at least let you in on the secret, but I know that Barney and Friends has priority. As for the next July debacle, I have reserved a special spot down in the gravel pit next to the craw-dad hole for ya, complete with deflated air mattress and not far from the skunk trap. The shade from the 2 foot tall pine trees should keep the sun off yer shoulders and I'm sure Herr Schultz will keep you entertained at night while the Bonzo crowd raises hell at the downtown pub. Don't forget yer snorkle next year.

Best Regard's,

Bonz

Post by **arthas** » Wed Sep 11, 2002 3:30 pm

Doofus Emeritus wrote:we no longer have experience levels on this here new forum format.

It would actually be possible to implement levels again, but I prefer special ranks.

m.

JerrBear · Post by **JerrBear** » Wed Sep 11, 2002 3:37 pm

Mr. Dexter,

No "levels" please - I fear we would lose Mr. Falcon...

Doofus Emeritus · Post by **Doofus Emeritus** » Wed Sep 11, 2002 6:26 pm

Mr. Dexter,

If experience levels are implemented, they should be subject to a 'Bill DeShivs knife Examination' to determine a certain level status. That would be a test Mr. JerrBeer and I would certainly flunk. Mr. The Falcon may score a possible 1 out of 100, and it would have to be published in 'Braille' for Wally. I say stay with your current ranking system and I nominate ol' Bill Deshivs the title of 'Blade Prince' , Mr. Vagrant the title of 'The Vagrant of Vagrant's' and Mr. JerrBeer as 'Miester-Bator'

Best Regard's

Bonz
Ps, and Mr. Spotlight Kid as 'Jim Bowie Incarnate'

The Falcon · Post by **The Falcon** » Thu Sep 12, 2002 2:41 am

Jerr,

I ran into our old friend PantherTrac the other day at an AA meeting (or was it a AAA office? I always get those two mixed up). Anyway, after getting some road maps (or was it coffee, cookies and counseling?) I told him about the new "rankless" forum. He liked it and said he might come back. I sure hope he does.

The Falcon

JerrBear · Post by **JerrBear** » Thu Sep 12, 2002 4:38 pm

Mr. Bongo,

Still having trouble with the old "I before E" thingy, huh? Apparently, Mr. Wally's scathing humiliation didn't teach you anything!

The title you have selected for me sucks (to put it mildly)! I would prefer something with a little more "Class."

Perhaps you would like to change your title to something a little more fitting... I was thinking along the lines of "Clown Prince of Scooter Trash?" Nice ring, huh?

Mr. Falcon,

Keep the pressure on Mr. PantherTrac to return! I miss that clever rascal! You have been filling his big paw prints pretty well, but it's just not the same!

Doofus Emeritus · Post by **Doofus Emeritus** » Thu Sep 12, 2002 7:14 pm

Mr. JerrBeer,

Please, by all means, have Sister Mary Elephant stop by and slap my knuckles with her trusty ruler. My German is a little rusty these days. Why dont you just go with, 'Master of the Bators', or 'MB Man' for short. Hey, that could go both ways! Milwaukee's Best Man! I just thought you'd appreciate a title in which you have HAND'S ON experience. I guess hefting a lukewarm 12oz MB in that Fresno heat is like dying and going to heaven. As far as a new rank, Clowns are freaky, so thats out. Scooter Trash is hitting close to the mark, but I'll stay where I'm at for now. Also, consider a few of these ranks:

Itburnsdoc
LTD (little tiny dik)
Papaleftitintoolong
Immunetoquell
Birdshitonmehead

A few suggestions for you to mull over.

Best Regard's,

Bonz

JerrBear · Post by **JerrBear** » Thu Sep 12, 2002 11:03 pm

Mr. Bongo,

I bet your little pink knuckles looked like hamburger from Sister M.E.'s loving attempts to straighten you out, huh? Too bad it didn't work!

I trust you didn't waste a lot of time dreaming-up those ranks for me - Like the original, they are all without the requested "class," hence Suck-O!

I was thinking more like:

Stud Muffin
Love Bear
Hug Bunny
MB (Mr. BIG)

You know, something that fits my appearance, sophistication and personality...

Don't think your efforts are not appreciated because they are not!

The Falcon · Post by **The Falcon** » Fri Sep 13, 2002 12:53 am

Ooh! Ooh! Jerr, let me be "Mr. BIG". (I'm 6' 4")

The Falcon

Doofus Emeritus · Post by **Doofus Emeritus** » Fri Sep 13, 2002 1:07 am

Mr. The Falcon,

Wow! I missed the Panther-Trac post. You mean to say that our comatose resident 'Butter-Knife Novice' may be stirring in his sleep? Gee! With Wally and I achieving our special ranking's, that could make the circle complete. Well, almost. Like it or not, Mr. JerrBeer has been catching all the action in the center of our little circle these days, so he's invited too! I promise not to let him wet on the carpet. Goody!

Best Regard's,

Bonz

JerrBear · Post by **JerrBear** » Fri Sep 13, 2002 1:58 pm

Mr. Falcon,

At 6'4" you are mos' welcome to the "Mr. Big" title... Alas, I am only 10 inches.

Mr. Bongo,

I don't mind being part of your little circle, but do I ALWAYS have to be the "Pivot Man?"

Gort · Post by **Gort** » Fri Sep 13, 2002 3:35 pm

How about these ranks then:

LRJ PP
UJE PP
NRMS PP
MOBY
Norman Bates (that's Mr. Bates to you)

Used to know a gentleman who claimed to be
a good friend of Dr. Yermazaho. He called himself
Mr. Pheen

If you had a zirc the size of a fire hose you'd feel
much better about yourself though.

JerrBear wrote:Mr. Falcon,

At 6'4" you are mos' welcome to the "Mr. Big" title... Alas, I am only 10 inches.

Mr. Bongo,

I don't mind being part of your little circle, but do I ALWAYS have to be the "Pivot Man?"

Post by **Wally J. Corpse** » Sat Sep 14, 2002 3:48 am

Greetings, Mr. Gort-

Mr. Pheen, you say? I wonder if he was the anesthethist for that involuntary procedure they volunteered me into. Sometimes it's hard to remeber what I forgot. Most of the inflictors wear masks and gloves, anyways, so you can never be sure of who's deleting your prescious memories in the name of public safety-hygiene.

Uh, what was the question? Oh, yeah, does hatural norn warp?

AS ever,

Your ol' pal,

Wally J. Corpse

P.S. Don't forget, you promised me front a row seat to the cinderization of earth party.

The Falcon · Post by **The Falcon** » Sat Sep 14, 2002 4:48 am

Sir Walter,

It's tragic cases like yours that gives meaning to the old adage - "I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy."

The Falcon