Hey BONZ,
You don't have to worry a bit about the Hamm's whiz marks since I drink only Schmitz Animal Beer. I feel I'm doing my part for conservation in supporting the creatures of the woods. The urine is guaranteed to burn down to the core of the earth if you're a regular drinker of just the cans labeled "Panther Piss". That would be me. I'm waiting with feverish anticipation for the new shades. I've wondered why my neck and back have been so sore lately. It's a real bitch to interpret traffic signals from a horizontal perspective. Do you have to empty your colostomy bag? It came empty from the factory so I thought it must take care of itself. It's getting hard to drag around with me now. Your Rizuttos are progressing up Death Valley loaded on a 20 mule team led by Commander Walleye. They should be there by the next total eclipse.
Who owns the most switchblades?
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Wally J. Corpse
- Level Zero: True Jerk
- Posts: 1865
- Joined: Thu May 23, 2002 7:59 pm
- Location: Fornicalia
Greetings, Mr. Doofus Emeritus-
Thanks, man, you crack me up. Always a joy to read a Bonzoid posting for mirth value.
Your spectacle-toupee design sounds like a winner, and especially considerate of you to factor in the counterweight. An inexpensive material for personal counterweighting is used cat litter, and most folks will even give it to ya' for free if you ask nicely while burglarizing their compost heap.
AS ever,
Your ol' pal,
Wally J. Corpse
Thanks, man, you crack me up. Always a joy to read a Bonzoid posting for mirth value.
Your spectacle-toupee design sounds like a winner, and especially considerate of you to factor in the counterweight. An inexpensive material for personal counterweighting is used cat litter, and most folks will even give it to ya' for free if you ask nicely while burglarizing their compost heap.
AS ever,
Your ol' pal,
Wally J. Corpse
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Doofus Emeritus
- King and Tyrant
- Posts: 637
- Joined: Thu May 23, 2002 8:27 pm
- Location: Sacred Mt. Zoomie, left coast
Mr. ray,
Did you hear that? Wally thinks you need to put some kitty litter in your colostomy bag. I'm sure the scented kind would be advised. Yes, I think those are the disposable kind these day's, unless you're some sick individual who likes to re-use that kind of stuff, condoms and the lot. I hope ol' Wally doesn't have to get rid of those Rizutto's to help pay for mule feed. He wont get much and the mules will starve. Ya should have used express shipping, my buddie Juan the Smuggler could have had'em strapped to the trunk of his low rider and be here in about 4 months. Why do ya have to take it so slow?
Best Regard's,
Bonz
Did you hear that? Wally thinks you need to put some kitty litter in your colostomy bag. I'm sure the scented kind would be advised. Yes, I think those are the disposable kind these day's, unless you're some sick individual who likes to re-use that kind of stuff, condoms and the lot. I hope ol' Wally doesn't have to get rid of those Rizutto's to help pay for mule feed. He wont get much and the mules will starve. Ya should have used express shipping, my buddie Juan the Smuggler could have had'em strapped to the trunk of his low rider and be here in about 4 months. Why do ya have to take it so slow?
Best Regard's,
Bonz
In Search of the Eternal Buzz
Hey BONZ,
Don't worry, your Rizuttos will get there before you forget about them. I tried the scented kitty litter in my bag, but the only kind I could find smelled just like cat piss. You obviously missed my "I RECYCLE" tattoo on the forehead in Eugene. I got an update from Walleye in the Valley. He looks just just like a young Ronnie Reagan as he's whipping those mules, or was it the mules whipping him? I get confused easily. The only Juan I know is Juan Motime. He's a new Lexus recycler in the San Fernando area. I'll try to use him on the next shipment.
Don't worry, your Rizuttos will get there before you forget about them. I tried the scented kitty litter in my bag, but the only kind I could find smelled just like cat piss. You obviously missed my "I RECYCLE" tattoo on the forehead in Eugene. I got an update from Walleye in the Valley. He looks just just like a young Ronnie Reagan as he's whipping those mules, or was it the mules whipping him? I get confused easily. The only Juan I know is Juan Motime. He's a new Lexus recycler in the San Fernando area. I'll try to use him on the next shipment.
If there's one thing I have learned, there's a lot of things I don't know.
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Doofus Emeritus
- King and Tyrant
- Posts: 637
- Joined: Thu May 23, 2002 8:27 pm
- Location: Sacred Mt. Zoomie, left coast
Mr. ray,
I know your tattoo said Screw Me, but lucky for you, the ol' Bonz is into women. So, my Rizutto's are on the slow boat to china. The kids are getting restless ya know. They are getting tired of watching the video on Sicilian Stiletto Fighting and are chomping at the bit. I also fitted the counter weight for your lenses with the tail of a Cascade Couger so the weight isn't more noticeable. How thoughtful of me, huh! I like it when I can help someone with the eyesight of a mole.
Best Regard's,
Bonz
I know your tattoo said Screw Me, but lucky for you, the ol' Bonz is into women. So, my Rizutto's are on the slow boat to china. The kids are getting restless ya know. They are getting tired of watching the video on Sicilian Stiletto Fighting and are chomping at the bit. I also fitted the counter weight for your lenses with the tail of a Cascade Couger so the weight isn't more noticeable. How thoughtful of me, huh! I like it when I can help someone with the eyesight of a mole.
Best Regard's,
Bonz
In Search of the Eternal Buzz
Bonz,
I'm back from vacation and going through a lot of stuff, our forum's posts being very high priority of course. Of particular note is your comment on ostomy care products. Actually, in America the majority of colostomy (and ileostomy and urostomy) pouches are "drainable" to use the industry's term. The reason is not that ostomates enjoy the task, but that they have to pay for all or some of the cost of their appliances themselves. A large proportion of ostomates are elderly and on fixed incomes so they are very price sensitive. Contrast the American situation to that of Europe where nearly all pouches are of the single use variety due to socialized medicine (this is NOT an endorsement of socialized medicine), so presumably emptying a pouch is not considered a desirable chore - imagine that. I am fortunate enough to say that I do not know this from being an ostomate myself, but I work at an ostomy care manufacturing facility.
Back on topic: Any more discussion about a forum knife?
Jim
I'm back from vacation and going through a lot of stuff, our forum's posts being very high priority of course. Of particular note is your comment on ostomy care products. Actually, in America the majority of colostomy (and ileostomy and urostomy) pouches are "drainable" to use the industry's term. The reason is not that ostomates enjoy the task, but that they have to pay for all or some of the cost of their appliances themselves. A large proportion of ostomates are elderly and on fixed incomes so they are very price sensitive. Contrast the American situation to that of Europe where nearly all pouches are of the single use variety due to socialized medicine (this is NOT an endorsement of socialized medicine), so presumably emptying a pouch is not considered a desirable chore - imagine that. I am fortunate enough to say that I do not know this from being an ostomate myself, but I work at an ostomy care manufacturing facility.
Back on topic: Any more discussion about a forum knife?
Jim
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Doofus Emeritus
- King and Tyrant
- Posts: 637
- Joined: Thu May 23, 2002 8:27 pm
- Location: Sacred Mt. Zoomie, left coast
Mr. Jim D,
Thank you for your most interesting education of colostomy care products. I had a hunch somebody out there made them. Actually, I think ray really uses them to smuggle in Rizutto's in from Mexico. I doubt if any border agents would be interested in digging through one of those things, except for ray of course.
You seem to be the vacationing sort these days. A trip to Maniago by chance?
Best Regards
Bonz
Thank you for your most interesting education of colostomy care products. I had a hunch somebody out there made them. Actually, I think ray really uses them to smuggle in Rizutto's in from Mexico. I doubt if any border agents would be interested in digging through one of those things, except for ray of course.
You seem to be the vacationing sort these days. A trip to Maniago by chance?Best Regards
Bonz
In Search of the Eternal Buzz
Hey BONZ,
You must have spies up here in the north country!! I have a seeing eye mole named "Magoo". He does a wonderful job, but feeding him his daily ration of worms is a drag. He slobbers and chomps and then farts. It sounds like a miniature chain saw. I'm sending him to TYDY for a complete makeover. Lots of color so I can see his directional movements easier.
You must have spies up here in the north country!! I have a seeing eye mole named "Magoo". He does a wonderful job, but feeding him his daily ration of worms is a drag. He slobbers and chomps and then farts. It sounds like a miniature chain saw. I'm sending him to TYDY for a complete makeover. Lots of color so I can see his directional movements easier.
If there's one thing I have learned, there's a lot of things I don't know.
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Doofus Emeritus
- King and Tyrant
- Posts: 637
- Joined: Thu May 23, 2002 8:27 pm
- Location: Sacred Mt. Zoomie, left coast
ray has 4 eyes, nah nah!
Mr. ray,
I made sure to install a set of shotglass bottoms for bifocals on your new lenses. You should be able to read every movement of the elusive seeing eye mole. Is that anything like the blind leading the blind?
Mr. Jim D,
I would like to visit Italy myself, but our diplomat to Italy said that relations with the Italians are good and they don't want me to spoil it. Gee, and I just bought a 6 pack of Moretti and a Pizza.
Best Regard's
Bonz
I made sure to install a set of shotglass bottoms for bifocals on your new lenses. You should be able to read every movement of the elusive seeing eye mole. Is that anything like the blind leading the blind?
Mr. Jim D,
I would like to visit Italy myself, but our diplomat to Italy said that relations with the Italians are good and they don't want me to spoil it. Gee, and I just bought a 6 pack of Moretti and a Pizza.
Best Regard's
Bonz
In Search of the Eternal Buzz
Hey BONZ,
I DO NOT have 4 eyes! I have 6 including Magoo's. The only minor problem he has is he's deaf so he can't hear my GEE and HAW directions. He's a stubborn little bugger and not fully halter broken yet so I got him a shock collar. As soon as I can figure which button is which, I'll bet he comes around nicely.
I DO NOT have 4 eyes! I have 6 including Magoo's. The only minor problem he has is he's deaf so he can't hear my GEE and HAW directions. He's a stubborn little bugger and not fully halter broken yet so I got him a shock collar. As soon as I can figure which button is which, I'll bet he comes around nicely.
If there's one thing I have learned, there's a lot of things I don't know.
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Wally J. Corpse
- Level Zero: True Jerk
- Posts: 1865
- Joined: Thu May 23, 2002 7:59 pm
- Location: Fornicalia
Greetings, Mr. Doofus Emeritus-
I suggest you have our ol' pal, JimD. send you some free slighlty used or factory reject ostomy bags for the upcoming Bonzoid Labor Day Debacle. I bet they'd be swell fun after filling with nitrous oxide or helium or both. If we get enough, we can duck into your shop and whip up some melodic bagpipes to accompany your local marching rectal kazoo choir for the parade. ( Is Ray coming up to lead the choir?).
Always trying to help ya'.-
AS ever,
Your ol' pal,
Wally J. Corpse
I suggest you have our ol' pal, JimD. send you some free slighlty used or factory reject ostomy bags for the upcoming Bonzoid Labor Day Debacle. I bet they'd be swell fun after filling with nitrous oxide or helium or both. If we get enough, we can duck into your shop and whip up some melodic bagpipes to accompany your local marching rectal kazoo choir for the parade. ( Is Ray coming up to lead the choir?).
Always trying to help ya'.-
AS ever,
Your ol' pal,
Wally J. Corpse
-
Doofus Emeritus
- King and Tyrant
- Posts: 637
- Joined: Thu May 23, 2002 8:27 pm
- Location: Sacred Mt. Zoomie, left coast
ray has 6 eyes, nah nah nah nah!
Mr. ray,
Thats too bad. I was hoping you could fart the national anthem for us in B minor. I had a whole case of chili beans and some homemade saurkraut all reserved for ya. Where's my f***ing Rizutto's?
Best Regard's,
Bonz
Thats too bad. I was hoping you could fart the national anthem for us in B minor. I had a whole case of chili beans and some homemade saurkraut all reserved for ya. Where's my f***ing Rizutto's?
Best Regard's,
Bonz
In Search of the Eternal Buzz
Hey BONZ,
I CAN fart the nation anthem, but with the bad reed the last time I performed I shit all over the stage. Your Rizuttos are en route, as they say in France, and you don't have to bleep out flicking do you? I have a buddy of mine from the local roofers union doing the legwork for me on that. He's very dependable and will stay on TOP of the job, as is the motto of the local union boys.
I CAN fart the nation anthem, but with the bad reed the last time I performed I shit all over the stage. Your Rizuttos are en route, as they say in France, and you don't have to bleep out flicking do you? I have a buddy of mine from the local roofers union doing the legwork for me on that. He's very dependable and will stay on TOP of the job, as is the motto of the local union boys.
If there's one thing I have learned, there's a lot of things I don't know.