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Greetings, Mr. Doofus Emeritus-

Gee whiz- between the two of 'ya, neither could figue out what you were doing?


AS ever,

Your ol' pal,

Wally J. Corpse

Greetings, Mr. Doofus Emeritus-

Gee whiz- btween the two of 'ya, neither could figue out what you were doing?


AS ever,

Your ol' pal,

Wally J. Corpse

Greetings, Mr. Doofus Emeritus- I hereby submit that our state name be changed to Fornicalia, with the capitol moved to the base of Mt. Zoomie, to a town re-named 'Scrotum'. You can be king and tyrant, as long as I lead the advisory panel, due to my special title qualifications. As such, I advise th...

Greetings, Mr. The Falcon-

It's always been my style to space things out too, so, you're on the right track to becoming just like me.


AS ever,

Your ol' pal,

Wally J. Corpse

Greetings, Mr. Johnny Blade-

I prefer to use vitreous humor, myself, but finding a voluntary supplier is tough.

AS ever,

Your ol' pal,

Wally J. Corpse

Greetings, All-


Does anyone know where I might acquire some genuine warped horn bloated stag pieces for my next WJC custom knife handle?


AS ever,

Your ol' pal,

Wally J. Corpse

Greetings, Mr. Slappy- Would you like me to keep an eye out for a prosthetic leg extension for ya'? Some times a swell mannequin leg shows up here in my dumpster behind K-Mart. Would it matter if it was a left or right ?, and you might not have a choice of skin tone or gender, but hey, so what? A fr...

Greetings, Mr. JerrBear- Liar, liar, pants on fire! If your 'z' key shows 'g', how come your pizza didn't come out as 'pigga' ? I didn't just drift ashore in a small boat, y'know. AS ever, Your ol' pal, Wally J. Corpse P.S. The fine citizens of Elko send thier sympathy for your choice of trailer hom...

Greetings, Mr. Yngwie-

Thanks for the pronunciation lesson. Ing-Vay, you say? That'd be Ving in pig latin. Ving was the name of a famous croaked crooner who sang Christmas carols with Ziggy Stardust- perhaps you've heard of him- Ving Vrosby?

AS ever,

Your ol' pal,

Wally J. Corpse

Greetings, Mr. Ray- Say, there, you got in a couple of shots on me whilst I wasn't looking, 'eh? Good for you. I always prefer that the punishee volunteer for his reward. I will have to turn my ever vigilant wooden eye towards you, but only after I've finished with Mr. JerrBear. In the meantime, you...

Greetings, Mr. Yngwie-

Welcome a broad, there, ol' pal! Just one small question- what's up with this Yngwie name? How do ya' pronounce that one? If you need help, perhaps we can take up a collection so you can afford a vowel or two.

AS ever,

Your ol' pal,

Wally J. Corpse

Greetings, Mr. Vagrant- I am honored that you might consider my derailed train of thought as of interest. I have an opinion on the subject matter, but, as of now, must delay my soliloquy, as I am very busy with my new job, on job release program. Which is also the reason that I haven't been able to ...

Greetings, Mr. JerrBear- Now you've crossed the grudge program entry line! The soothing sounds of massive power Blue Oyster Cult guitar sardoniscism is all that prevents me now from slipping onto your excluded Fresnoid imaginary beachfront property and sending an API A.K. round through the grill of ...

Greetings, Mr. Gort- Mr. Pheen, you say? I wonder if he was the anesthethist for that involuntary procedure they volunteered me into. Sometimes it's hard to remeber what I forgot. Most of the inflictors wear masks and gloves, anyways, so you can never be sure of who's deleting your prescious memorie...

Greetings, Mr. Paladin Of The Blade- I strongly urge you to ditch the 'arthas' nameoid, as it does not carry the weight of distinction that you deserve, now that your back on the Wally ol' pal register. It reeks of the sound that might waft out the aft of granny as she bends over to pick up a bingo ...