Score Settlement...

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Wally J. Corpse
Level Zero: True Jerk
Posts: 1864
Joined: Thu May 23, 2002 7:59 pm
Location: Fornicalia

Score Settlement...

Post by Wally J. Corpse »

Greetings, Legion Of Fan-

Pursuant to mine principal posting, a correction is in order, to wit: when I said There I was, I was actually there circa 1975, not 1976..
Anyways, the gal conscripted to deliver the half arm gift to mock the principal, perhaps wisely, chickened out. That left the vice principal/lackey AS the target for the fledgling WJC Grudge Program...
Backstory- whilst I was still a student at high school, the lackey's MO was thus: it would stand outside of it's office, arms folded across chest, then routinely amuse himself by launching a fake punch at the head of a passing unsuspecting youth, hoping for, and often successful at a reactive flinch.One day he tried the same thing on me. I didnaye flinch, but met him with my steely gaze, (prior to the wooden eye), and, accurately instantly judging him AS an unworthy adversary due to his evidently diminished cranial capacity, I didn't care.
However, some time shortly after mine horrific car crash episode, I left the school to pursue a career in fugitive status roofing. A friend still studentii, informed me that the lackey had announced that he was glad I was gone, and stated that he thought that I got what I deserved, thereby voluntarily moving to the first on the list on the WJC GP.
At the time, I was privy to a supply of'n extremely potent party favors, clear 4 way windowpane LSD. A feeble and transparent plan came to fruition whence one of those hits went offa a pal's thumbnail into the lackey's hot coffee on his desk AS he was outside in the hall, feinting at scared kids.
Imagine his surprise when the walls began to melt, the floor undulated to meet the shifting ceilings, and all the gasping terrors of scared kids resounded in his skull, a cacophony of distorted reality.
Eyewitnesses reported that it took several EMTs to subdue him, and he was moaning whilst throwing punches at his own head. Insider at local hospital said that, concerned about possible poisoning, they elected to pump out his stomach, a procedure including a tube jammed through the sinus cavity to vacuum out the tummy contents. Now then, there are many here among us that know that once the acid is in your system to effect, hosing out your last meal is in -effective exponentially except for the terror induced therein.
Sometime much later, it was rumored that the lackey became much more docile, scared no one, and spent a lot of his waking hours cleaning launched eggs and toilet paper off of his house.
It just goes to show ya' one should be careful about one's choice of behavior, for for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, except if you're on the WJC GP, wherein ye may be awarded an extra bonus value for score settlement...

AS ever,
Your ol' pal,
Wally J. Corpse

P.S. AS usual, there is no evidence whatsoever I was involved with anything illegal, and those who may have participated in this literary cartoon episode have been verified AS being pretty much right around dead...
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natcherly
Connoisseur dei Coltelli
Posts: 6336
Joined: Mon Mar 29, 2004 3:59 pm
Location: Baghdad by the Bay

Re: Score Settlement...

Post by natcherly »

WOW and YOWZA!
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john
Posts: 4524
Joined: Tue Dec 01, 2009 11:40 am
Location: New England, MA USA

Re: Score Settlement...

Post by john »

As they say,”PAY BACK IS A BITCH!”
The scumbag had it coming.
Your friend on the web's most friendly community on knives and blades,
John

Massachusetts Where Everything is Illegal or Taxed
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jim d,
Posts: 7666
Joined: Thu May 23, 2002 9:36 pm
Location: Mayberry, N.C. / U.S.A.

Re: Score Settlement...

Post by jim d, »

Sir Wallace,

As usual, your prose induced a hearty chuckle. One thing you wrote many years ago that did not induce a chuckle of any sort was your detailed account of "mine horrific car crash episode". I remember it like it was written yesterday.

Jim
sammy the blade
Posts: 4023
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 7:18 pm
Location: Indiana

Re: Score Settlement...

Post by sammy the blade »

Wally, why waste good acid on an ahole of a teacher. Couldn't you have put some exlax in his brownies and gave everyone a laugh when he pooped his pants.
2024 candidate for president
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natcherly
Connoisseur dei Coltelli
Posts: 6336
Joined: Mon Mar 29, 2004 3:59 pm
Location: Baghdad by the Bay

Re: Score Settlement...

Post by natcherly »

sammy the blade wrote: Mon Nov 25, 2019 2:59 am Wally, why waste good acid on an ahole of a teacher. Couldn't you have put some exlax in his brownies and gave everyone a laugh when he pooped his pants.
The effectiveness of Ex lax is WAY overrated as far as delivering fast and explosive results. Check out "The Cask of Amontillado" for the last word in revenge. Not too practical these days as few have catacombs beneath their houses. :evil:
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