Bilingual blonde
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Bilingual blonde
During a job interview a blonde was asked "are you bilingual?", to which she replied "no, ugh, well just once while in college".
A cop come's to the seen of an accident where a blonde has crash'ed her car.
The cop ask'ed ,What happen'ed mam?
The blonde replied well afficer I swerved to avoid hitting a tree.
Then there another tree,so I swerved again and there was yet another tree,the cop interuped and said mam there's not a tree arond here for 30 mile's that's your air freshner!
The cop ask'ed ,What happen'ed mam?
The blonde replied well afficer I swerved to avoid hitting a tree.
Then there another tree,so I swerved again and there was yet another tree,the cop interuped and said mam there's not a tree arond here for 30 mile's that's your air freshner!
A blonde female police officer pulled another blonde over and asked for her drivers license to which the blonde driver replied "I do not have a drivers license". The blonde officer then asked if she had a photo ID. The driver fumbled through her purse and finally found her compact. She opened the compact, looked in the mirror, and handed it to the officer. The officer looked in the mirror and said "oh if I had known you were a police officer I wouldn't have pulled you over".
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JerrBear
- MB Suckin' Bottom Feeder
- Posts: 8363
- Joined: Thu May 23, 2002 7:41 pm
- Location: Fresno-by-the-Sea
A blonde and a brunette were watching the news on TV.
A man was standing on top of a tall building threatening to jump.
The blonde says, "I don't think he will jump." The brunette says, "I'll bet you $50 buck dollars he does!"
The bet is accepted and the man jumps to his death.
The blonde pays off. The brunette says, "I can't take your money. I already saw this on an earlier broadcast."
To which the blonde replies, "So did I, but I didn't think he would do it AGAIN!"
A man was standing on top of a tall building threatening to jump.
The blonde says, "I don't think he will jump." The brunette says, "I'll bet you $50 buck dollars he does!"
The bet is accepted and the man jumps to his death.
The blonde pays off. The brunette says, "I can't take your money. I already saw this on an earlier broadcast."
To which the blonde replies, "So did I, but I didn't think he would do it AGAIN!"
JerrBear
Have you hugged a Bear today?
Have you hugged a Bear today?
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Stone Knife
- Posts: 911
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- Location: Gone.
- Contact:
Your english teachers owe you a refund.butch wrote:A cop come's to the seen of an accident where a blonde has crash'ed her car.
The cop ask'ed ,What happen'ed mam?
The blonde replied well afficer I swerved to avoid hitting a tree.
Then there another tree,so I swerved again and there was yet another tree,the cop interuped and said mam there's not a tree arond here for 30 mile's that's your air freshner!
I mean that in a nice way.No, they were blondes!
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The Falcon
- Posts: 2927
- Joined: Fri May 24, 2002 11:21 am
- Location: The Peoples Republic of California
The SPIRIT of the joke was good - it was the LETTERS (and apostrophes) that were a little off.Stone Knife wrote:Your english teachers owe you a refund.
(the most common mistake I see on this forum and elsewhere is using "YOUR" when the writer means "YOU'RE").
I collect springblades but I carry my "thumbers."
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Teddy
- Britannicus Geriatricus
- Posts: 4572
- Joined: Fri Nov 22, 2002 9:36 pm
- Location: Out hunting.. and loaded for troll
The one that I find the most surprising is using "YOU" instead of "YOUR" .... as in " Roll up... roll up.... get you hot-dogs here.... $1.99 each"The Falcon wrote:The SPIRIT of the joke was good - it was the LETTERS (and apostrophes) that were a little off.Stone Knife wrote:Your english teachers owe you a refund.
(the most common mistake I see on this forum and elsewhere is using "YOUR" when the writer means "YOU'RE").
Amazingly common...
Best wishes
Teddy
English And Such
Yes, well many of us either did not have the advantage of a 'Public School' education, or did not pay close attention when the lessons were taught. I know my spelling is poor, but make up for it by my excellent use of the comma ( and no there is not a world shortage of the little dears ). Oh, well, back to the realy important stuff. Take care, Bigfifty.
Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.
The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"
To this the other blonde replied "I know it, and if I knew how to swim I'd go out there and drown her."
The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"
To this the other blonde replied "I know it, and if I knew how to swim I'd go out there and drown her."
~RAZOR~
Rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6
Rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6
No offense taken,my punctuation suck's.Stone Knife wrote:Your english teachers owe you a refund.butch wrote:A cop come's to the seen of an accident where a blonde has crash'ed her car.
The cop ask'ed ,What happen'ed mam?
The blonde replied well afficer I swerved to avoid hitting a tree.
Then there another tree,so I swerved again and there was yet another tree,the cop interuped and said mam there's not a tree arond here for 30 mile's that's your air freshner!
No, they were blondes!
The fire department rush's to a city skyscraper that is engulf'ed in flame's.
There was a brunette trapp'ed on the tenth floor.
The fireman said jump we'll catch you in the blanket.
So,she jump'ed,the firemen pulled the blanket away.
Next a redhead come's to the window they said jump,we'll catch you in the blanket.
The redhead said,but you pull'ed the blanket away from the othe woman.
The fireman said we dont like brunette's,so she jump'ed and they pull'ed the blanket away and she fell to her death.
Now a blonde come's to the window.
The firemen said jump we'll catch you in the blanket.
The blonde replied,what do you think I am,stupid!
Put the blanket down and step away!
There was a brunette trapp'ed on the tenth floor.
The fireman said jump we'll catch you in the blanket.
So,she jump'ed,the firemen pulled the blanket away.
Next a redhead come's to the window they said jump,we'll catch you in the blanket.
The redhead said,but you pull'ed the blanket away from the othe woman.
The fireman said we dont like brunette's,so she jump'ed and they pull'ed the blanket away and she fell to her death.
Now a blonde come's to the window.
The firemen said jump we'll catch you in the blanket.
The blonde replied,what do you think I am,stupid!
Put the blanket down and step away!
Mr.stone knife,I just read over my post and didnt realize all the misspell'ed word's,My wife was nagging me to get off the computer when I post'ed that,from now on I'll take the time to edit my post's more carfully.Stone Knife wrote:Your english teachers owe you a refund.butch wrote:A cop come's to the seen of an accident where a blonde has crash'ed her car.
The cop ask'ed ,What happen'ed mam?
The blonde replied well afficer I swerved to avoid hitting a tree.
Then there another tree,so I swerved again and there was yet another tree,the cop interuped and said mam there's not a tree arond here for 30 mile's that's your air freshner!
No, they were blondes!
But my spelling still suck's.
Butch.