HOW TO WASH YOUR CAT
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- hogwild
- Posts: 1202
- Joined: Thu Jan 27, 2005 12:24 am
- Location: Proudly chasing the dollar to "share" with parasites
HOW TO WASH YOUR CAT
1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water and have both lids up.
3. Find the cat and soothe him while you carry him toward the bathroom.
4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. (You may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape.) The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this. (CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his claws will be reaching out for anything they can find.)
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a Power "Wash" and "Rinse", which I have found to be quite effective.
6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.
Sincerely,
~The Dog
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water and have both lids up.
3. Find the cat and soothe him while you carry him toward the bathroom.
4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. (You may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape.) The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this. (CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his claws will be reaching out for anything they can find.)
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a Power "Wash" and "Rinse", which I have found to be quite effective.
6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.
Sincerely,
~The Dog
The worst evils which mankind has ever had to endure were inflicted by bad governments.
Ludwig von Mises
Ludwig von Mises
- natcherly
- Connoisseur dei Coltelli
- Posts: 6340
- Joined: Mon Mar 29, 2004 3:59 pm
- Location: Baghdad by the Bay
Re: HOW TO WASH YOUR CAT
That ol' dog is mighty clever. I suspect Puddy Tat would only stop to dry himself once he was in the next county....
Very Funny
Very Funny
Re: HOW TO WASH YOUR CAT
TRYKER
A man who brags about how smart he is, wouldn't if he was.
"Rose-colored glassses are never made in bifocals. Nobody wants to read the small print in dreams"
A man who brags about how smart he is, wouldn't if he was.
"Rose-colored glassses are never made in bifocals. Nobody wants to read the small print in dreams"
- Bonzo
- Doofus Emeritus
- Posts: 3419
- Joined: Thu May 23, 2002 8:01 pm
- Location: Klamath Falls, Oregon Left Coast I can still see Mt. Zoomie from my house!
Re: HOW TO WASH YOUR CAT
Mr. Hogwild,
The Pastor of my church wanted some late night ice cream, and the cat jumped in the freezer when his back was turned. The next morning, his wife opened the freezer and the cat fell out, half-frozen. So, she freaks out and calls vet, and asks what to do. The vet told her to slip a tablespoon of gasoline down the cats throat and says he'll be right over. So, she put some gasoline down the cats throat, and lo & behold, the kitty sprung to life, tore the curtains from the windows and ran sideways around the walls and totally trashed the house, stopped, and fell over dead. The vet came walking in, looked at the cat and said, poor kitty,
...must have run out of gas.
Best regards,
Bonz
The Pastor of my church wanted some late night ice cream, and the cat jumped in the freezer when his back was turned. The next morning, his wife opened the freezer and the cat fell out, half-frozen. So, she freaks out and calls vet, and asks what to do. The vet told her to slip a tablespoon of gasoline down the cats throat and says he'll be right over. So, she put some gasoline down the cats throat, and lo & behold, the kitty sprung to life, tore the curtains from the windows and ran sideways around the walls and totally trashed the house, stopped, and fell over dead. The vet came walking in, looked at the cat and said, poor kitty,
...must have run out of gas.
Best regards,
Bonz
"A little rebellion now & then is a good thing"
Thomas Jefferson
- Wally J. Corpse
- Level Zero: True Jerk
- Posts: 1865
- Joined: Thu May 23, 2002 7:59 pm
- Location: Fornicalia
Re: HOW TO WASH YOUR CAT
Greetings, Mr. Hogwild-
Excellent methodology, sir. If'n eye may add a pre-wash suggestion- a full immersion in Nair works well to rid the flathead of it's pesky hair, thereby making grooming much easier, and, AS an added bonus, eliminating the retching up of hairballs.
AS ever,
Your ol' pal,
Wally J. Corpse
Excellent methodology, sir. If'n eye may add a pre-wash suggestion- a full immersion in Nair works well to rid the flathead of it's pesky hair, thereby making grooming much easier, and, AS an added bonus, eliminating the retching up of hairballs.
AS ever,
Your ol' pal,
Wally J. Corpse
- catavengercaptain
- Posts: 713
- Joined: Tue Oct 05, 2004 3:46 am
- Location: Da Moon
- Contact:
Re: HOW TO WASH YOUR CAT
I leave for awhile and this starts! Hmmmm well the Cat Dude is back!!
Re: HOW TO WASH YOUR CAT
I just asked about you not long ago Captain Cat. Glad you are back and hope all is good.catavengercaptain wrote:I leave for awhile and this starts! Hmmmm well the Cat Dude is back!!
Figured you might chime in on this foul "cat-talk"
I'm a big wuss when it comes to animals I love them all....however,I think the thing that bothers me the most are the people that in the middle of an in-depth conversation picks up their beloved creature and proceeds to say things like: "There's my woopy-doopy-schmoopy-poopy" in an incredibly annoying Mickey Mouse voice.
Then does my naturally gentle demeanor turn to mind-numbing-blinding rage and I begin to break furniture
- catavengercaptain
- Posts: 713
- Joined: Tue Oct 05, 2004 3:46 am
- Location: Da Moon
- Contact:
Re: HOW TO WASH YOUR CAT
I once again fried my laptop been awhile get things back to normal